Empty barrels make the most noise

the refusal to eat seems to be one of the signs of genuine penitence. 

obsessions tend to often be with the new. 
monsters can sometimes be this new.

but what happens when the monsters become old?
when they’re mundane, and known, and we’re able to fathom all the things that the monsters can do, and can even place them in a box of our mind?

even these monsters become human. their personalities are just like ours.

they can be like an addict, needing their sustenance (which may sometimes be through pain or destruction of something)
but isnt it possible that these monsters can limit themselves?
it’d definitely keep their value higher as a species. 

… lol i’m watching quite a bit of vampire diaries.

there was never a single day that went by that i didnt miss you.
that i didnt want to talk to you or be with you or do something for you,
so that i could be part of your life. 
so we could have a life together.
a year and six months i’ve been trained to think in this way.
and now,
with you gone.
my mind reaches for you
and you are ever further away
ever more distant.

i tried my best to retain some dignity for myself.
and bend to accomodate.

i feel if time did not destroy us,
we would still be magical.

maybe, my enemy is time. 
and maybe it’s time to direct my mind again to it.
i shall fight time.
maybe i can conquer.

it seems i got a little too excited/crazy with trying to surprise kim. she broke up with me, and now im just really sad about it all. i loved her and tried as much as i could.
:(

cotard’s syndrome
-a psychological disorder where someone believes they are dead.


being dead is simple.
just lose everything and everyone you care about.
just lose care.
your body will want you to stay alive. food. breathing. social function, etc.
but if you care for none of this, you might as well be dead.

there’s your immortality if you wanted it.
now go have a fucking ball.

what is this feeling.
why do i feel like im falling.